The Importance of Rules

"Have a nice day."

These are the parting words with which I leave each stranger I meet. I'm not entirely sure when I adopted this habit but it's become something that's very important to me.

In the midst of a world wherein we spend our lives with our eyes down and headphones in, I like the idea that four simple words and a smile can have an impact on somebody's day. Maybe they do, perhaps they don't.

What's important isn't necessarily whether or not they actually do; it's the idea that they can. Never underestimate the impact that even the smallest act of kindness can have.

As I've mentioned before, I try to live my life by a select set of personal rules. When I last wrote of these I was up to 13. Since then, I've written two more, and will likely continue to extend this list as life teaches me more and more. Since I've very little else to do at 8.30am on this sunny autumn Friday, I figured I'd let you all in on them and provide some context as to why these are so important to me.

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1. Your word is your bond. When you give it, you honour it.

This one is arguably the most important lesson my old man ever taught me. For all his faults, of which he possessed many, the belief that your "word" is an indication of your character was of paramount importance to him. As such, should you ever hear me give you "my word", it should be taken as a promise that I'll do everything I can to see it through.

2. If you make a mistake, do everything in your power to rectify it.

This is fairly self-explanatory, but important nonetheless. During my younger years I found it all too easy to allow my ego to get in the way and deny responsibility for my mistakes. In doing so, I would disallow myself the opportunity to grow. Mistakes are the seeds of success, and knowing when you've something to atone for may ensure that you never make that mistake again.

3. Be it favour or finance, always repay a debt.

Whilst these rules aren't written in any order of importance, this one is perhaps the one I think of most. It speaks to the importance of making sure that an act of kindness never goes unnoticed. Simple acts of kindness have saved my life on occasion, and so I try to ensure that these debts are paid in full when such an act can help another.

4. Apologise when you're wrong. Embrace it. Learn from it.

Pride can be a jagged pill to swallow. Apologies don't always come easy, but this goes back to rule #2. An apology can rebuild a bridge previously burnt. It can also relieve the heavy burden of guilt from your shoulders and allow self-reflection and growth.

5. First impressions matter. Always shake hands.

Another lesson from my old man. A first impression can make or break any type of relationship. Begin it with a handshake and you've made your first connection.

6. Be honest. If you can't be honest, be kind. Where possible, be both.

Honesty and kindness don't always go hand in hand. Sometimes a white lie is kinder, and sometimes honesty is necessary. If you can walk the line between employing both, I believe it demonstrates an individual's ability to be trusted.

7. Stand up for yourself, and stand up for others.

I was bullied heavily as a child. My mum has on multiple occasions been beaten and abused. Moreover, in today's society it's all to easy to see an injustice and ignore it for the sake of self-preservation. I decided on this rule when I remembered all the times I wish somebody had stood up for me, or for Mum. I also decided upon it because of the times people did. It's not until your back is against the wall that you realise just how much it means to have somebody at your side.

8. If you have somewhere to be, be there on time.

A rule that I decided upon during a relationship in which my partner at the time was consistently 2-3 hours late to everything we did. Lateness is one of the few things that frustrates me above all else. Seemed only right that I make it a rule.

9. Loyalty is the most important trait a person can have.

This one speaks for itself. It's more important to have one friend you trust with your life than to have ten friends you don't trust with anything. Loyalty speaks volumes about a person, and it means more to me than any other quality a person possesses.

10. Always have something to aim for.

Over the course of the last few years, my mental health has declined significantly. It's been hard to focus on anything, and when you're adrift it's all too easy to stay that way. If you aim for something and miss, be proud you took the shot. Be even prouder if the shot lands.

11. Have your own opinions, but don't allow them to negate the opinions of others.

Not always an easy one to follow, because I'm a reasonably outspoken and opinionated person. It's because of that that this rule needed including. It's a reminder that I'm not always right, and often wrong. More to the point, you can learn so much from listening to somebody you disagree with. It can change your entire view of the world if you're open-minded enough.

12. Family is the most important thing you have. Family doesn't always mean blood, but it does mean you shed your blood for them should you need to.

The most important lesson Mum has ever taught me. A reminder that family doesn't end with blood. Friends are the family you get to choose, and you should choose them with care.

13. Think before you speak.

Not something I'm always able to do, but certainly something I've attempted more and more as time has gone by. This rule was a by-product of my tendency to talk before I listened during my youth, and I'd like to think it's saved me from a few confrontations over the years.

14. It doesn't matter what you're doing; do your best, and do it right.

My work ethic was piss-poor before Dad died. I'm not really sure why this changed when he passed, but it did. I don't think there's any such thing as a job you're "too good for", nor do I believe there's any excuse for doing something you consider an "easy" job badly.

15. Don't just talk about it. Be about it.

All the rules in the world won't mean anything if you don't follow them. It's well and good talking about what type of person you are, but actions often speak louder than words.

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So there we have it. A long-winded, almost certainly overly-preachy insight into who I aspire to be. Congratulations if you made it to the end.

Ultimately, what I'm trying to say is this; knowing your faults and fixing your faults are two different things, but generally, I've found it all starts with a simple act of kindness.

So with that said, have a nice day.